Today, I also found getting up ce matin a tricky business, literally got dressed in the dark, arrived at work, took off my coat, at which point my colleague leaned over and zipped up my dress. FML
True story.
My favs from the site:
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers.
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language.
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad.
Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded.
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This made me snort tea from my nose, nice:
ReplyDeleteToday, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked.
This made me give the rest of the office a fright through going 'HAH!' very loudly:
ReplyDeleteToday, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML
Partly as my sister used to be known as Burt (long story), and she's very far away from this image!
PS
ReplyDeleteToday, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML