Monday silliness

I LOVE these:
(written by children)

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan , age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen , age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick , age 8

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig , age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt , age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard , age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9

And the #1 Favourite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky , age 10

Tuesday Joke

What’s large, grey and sings jazz?

Elephants Gerald

(courtesy of SK)

Meerkats Meerkats Meerkats

Thought I'd take a moment to celebrate MEERKATS and the wonder they bring into all our lives (my life?)

Firstly - BABY meerkats. In the middle of this video -

http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/newsbeat/newsid_7913000/7913851.stm

just born in Sydney Zoo...

Secondly the BEST corporate marketing campaign I've seen in a while - ComparetheMarket.com? no, CompareTheMEERKAT.com. And it does genuinely compare meerkats.

http://www.comparethemeerkat.com/home.html

The Friday Joke

Q: What do you call a tellytubby who has been burgled?
A: A tubby.

This is neat little idea. I might even join a band, just so I can release this album!

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random... Read more or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days

Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop, the gimp or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post it with this text in the "caption" and link to the friends you want to join in.

Obama sushi - sorry what?

This opens up possibilities of ALL sorts of fish-related depictions of the Rich + Famous.

This is why Dame Edna's so darn brilliant

To an audience member: "I'm trying to find a word to describe what you're wearing... affordable?"

"That dress does look nice in the bigger size."

Her long-suffering husband, Norm, died in 1988 from a "testicular murmur"; and her mother who was locked away in a "maximum-security twilight home for the bewildered".

"I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.”

She really is a genuine Dazzle.

Best tweets I've seen

"Spent 2% of the that meeting saying "Uh-huh." The other 98% was staring out of the window imagining pigeon-mounted squirrels dogfighting."

Posted by 'God':

"Sorry for the silence, had to reboot and my computer's really big"

"Sing like nobody's listening, dance like nobody's watching, and tweet like you have 0 followers"

Oddest crafting links - people actually MADE these

Crocheted toilet roll and poo (!)

What in the heck is the point of this?? why crochet a cover for a rock?? and what on earth would you do with it once finished?

Again - WHY make these? you can't EAT them, and they're not particularly decorative, as all they do is remind you that you can't EAT them.

I keep harping on about how stitching can be cool...slash an artform...but seriously - if someone starts doing this, they're totally undermining my entire point. WHY would you stitch the inside of your knee?

Meanwhile at the other end of the spectrum - this site demonstrates that doing NOTHING at all can be interesting too...

am loving F*&k My Life

Today, I also found getting up ce matin a tricky business, literally got dressed in the dark, arrived at work, took off my coat, at which point my colleague leaned over and zipped up my dress. FML

True story.

My favs from the site:

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers.

Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language.

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad.
Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded.

Found this interesting stitcher

She's working in London - and works on traditional samplers, with a modern twist: see here.

Intriguing...it seems that she was actually commissioned by Vogue to do a piece last year - so stitching absolutely can be cool, even fashionable??!

le weekend

entirely covered in very sticky choc chip cookie dough - totally worth it though

Saturday saw a good progression with Top Secret Shh-Project...

and Sunday was spent with the actual real live Pickle

here's a use for your knitting needles

good lord!! knitted bras. utterly insane.

see - cross stitch CAN be cool

though of course this is really manly - so maybe something somewhere in between would be a good middle ground?

Current status of the Top Secret Project.

Though now getting cold feet about it...

I've been spending too long with it I think.

authorblog: Two Rungs Don’t Make A Right

authorblog: Two Rungs Don’t Make A Right

This is Baxter. He's an elephant made out of a sock (well, a pair of socks).

He's part of a growing family of sock animals, all of whom have left home and live with new zookeepers.

Further musings

Andrew Lloyd Webber told Piers Morgan about a musical star that was caught selling complimentary tickets to his own West End show, outside the theatre in a false moustache.

apparantly

The plural of wanton is faunae???

As in these women are faunae but that girl is wanton.

The dictionary's gone bonkers.

I wonder what the plural of wonton is...

musings on Friday 13th

Q. What time does Sean Connery turn up to Wimbledon to watch his favourite players?
A. Tennish...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7884868.stm

Good lord: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1142566/The-mother-baby-bumps-Octuplets-mum-bares-ENORMOUS-stomach-just-days-giving-birth.html

Best site I've seen in quite a while: http://www.fmylife.com/